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PROFILE

- Stock standard gro with a tude at first glance - however has avoided or escaped incarceration and appears mildly educated.

- An authoritative voice, often providing the definitive final word on various issues. Or possibly just a threadkilling bore?

EXHIBIT A: Although he has accounted for 7.7% of total Level posts, Fred_Threadkiller is responsible for 17.4% of the “Latest Posts” in dormant Concourse threads (page 2 and beyond). Disclaimer: included in this figure is the thread entitled “It's Official: Arlen Specter Was On The Grassy Knoll”, which is made up of two posts - the first by F_T and the second by Pity Comment. It should also be noted that F_T may have been intoxicated during an extraordinary run on archive page #17, where he managed to end 12 of 25 threads. Investigation pending as to area thefts of Colt 45 or assorted malt liquors on or around relevant dates.

- Demonstrates delusional tendencies, potential affliction for hallucinogenic drugs:

EXHIBIT B: F_b declares victory in “Fry the Rowan 5” thread despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, widespread public condemnation, and severe beatdown at the hands of keith byars logic; further exacerbates delusional behavior by suggesting that whites are as prone to violent crime as blacks.

- Purgery:

EXHIBIT C: Claims no memory of teal t-shirts. Refer to GGB’s “The Official Where is FB” thread, in which f_b discloses “I am working on a new line of high price point teal T-shirts and accessories for the urban youth designed to compete with Sean Combs- if anyone's interested”. Reader left to choose whether to laugh at business plan or fact that f_b thought anyone actually cared where he was.

EXHIBIT D: Claims no memory of she-beast companion. Levelers who remember the ill-fated “Post a Pic” thread wish they were so lucky. Several can still taste the bile in their throat. Out of compassion or pity, it will be assumed she was a half-cousin visiting from the Serengeti.

- Schizophrenic tendencies:

EXHIBIT E: Funk thread – F-b posts nine consecutive times, and 14 out of 15, before Dean-o galliantly intervenes.

- Inability to feel shame likely commensurate with lack of people to whom accountable in real life:

EXHIBIT F: Refer to any argument with any leveller ever. Refuted slightly by unending defensiveness with respect to racial issues.

- Presents opposition to controversial public figure so unintelligible as to mobilize public sympathy for said controversial figure:

EXHIBIT G: Single-celled Confedobot BMA garners laughs and praise at expense of f_b throughout Obama threads.

- Political naivite symptomatic of Gary Coleman Syndrome:

EXHIBIT H: Virtually any thread on the concourse

Summary: AN UNWIPED ASSHOLE. Probably has a killer jump shot though.

Why not? It's Friday...

PROFILE

- A self-proclaimed ‘mo, however suspected of using phony sexual orientation as a defense mechanism or just to fuck with the Level

- Just seems altogether unlikely to be an ass pirate

EVIDENCE

- Looks like a mailman or liquor store clerk

- Posts on the Level

- Likes sports

- Is funny

- Politically sensible

- Reluctant to use exclamation marks or superlatives

- Usually keeps a low profile in discussions focused directly on homosexuality - unusual for an out-of-the-closet ponce

- When addressing homosexuality, has never been known to do so in a hysterical, verbose, pre-emptively apologetic way

- Not known to speak extensively about orientation prior to “Ask a Homosexual Man” thread. Straightforward nature in which topic is discussed in that thread seems to betray implication of previous bashfulness. Seems slightly annoyed by those who don’t believe him, suggesting he’s trying to convince people that he’s a pole smoker - even though he doesn’t seem too sure himself (“just a phase”)

- Frequently requests Levelers “post a pic”, despite lack of desirability of individuals posting on an Eagles forum during work hours; tantamount to a straight man soliciting women at a bowling alley in Allentown

- Discusses attraction to male celebrities only, though it is known most chocochompers are even more opinionated on the attractiveness of female celebrities

- Claims to have stood up to “a carload of urbanites” in the Secure in Your Masculinity thread
- Was otherwise absent in that thread despite people talking about WHAM! And Madonna
- Made the comment: “To be honest munch I really don't know much about wine”

COUNTER EVIDENCE

- Displays depth of knowledge in the “Ask a Homosexual Man” thread far beyond that of the non-homosexual

- Birddropping’s “Gayborhood” thread, lamenting departure of two Level vets: “Seriously. BD and AE just disappeared like Kelly and Jesse. Now we are stuck with FB (Tori) instead.” Correlation coefficient between obscure Saved by the Bell reference and preference for cock believed between .995 and 1.005.

- Seth in 736: “He confirmed recently, offline, and it was thought to be in strictest confidence.” Seth spotted days later with “ice cream” in goatee, per wife.

- Comment in Tattoos thread: “I got to thinking of this when in Vegas my friend told me he was paying $2500 to get his removed from his bicep.”
- Repeated references to supposed encounter with k_b. Suspicious.

SUMMARY

Cue Robert Stack.

Lots of evidence that it’s all a ruse. But gun to head? NEAG......