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What are some things, that no matter how hard you try, you just don’t get?

Here are a few of mine:

1. South Park – All of my friends like it. Given the types of shows that I liked (Beavis and Butthead) I feel like I should like it. But no matter how many times I watch it, I just don’t get the appeal.

2. NASCAR- Again, all of my friends love it. I love everything else that is on a sports channel. Soccer, bowling, hell I’ll watch ladies badminton. I fond NASCAR so boring and unwatchable.

3. Camping – I go twice a year with my son’s scout troop. But I can’t get anyone who would do it as a vacation. Call me a Sally, but physical labor is not my idea of an enjoyable time off of work.

4. Why when you are on a major road do cars slow down when the number of lanes increase? There is a spot on Sunrise Highway on Long Island where you go from 2 lanes to 4 lanes and without fail you see brake lights.

5. Fantasy anything…

6. Oral sex – I married a Jewish girl. Don’t ever do that!

What else?

Sally!

What? You don't get Fantasy Island?

And my innocent (or some would say clueless) nature has never heard the bit about Jewish women. And part of me doesn't want to be enlightened for whatever reason.

The stereotype is that they refuse to do it and when they do they are terrible at it. I've found that to be pretty consistent.

Munch-

I'm with you on 1 and 2.

Camping is cool because it's just you and Mother Nature. All the distractions are gone, and you actually can hear yourself think.

#4 needs to include slowing down in tunnels.
That drives me crazy- I like to speed up in tunnels, but people alaways slow up there.

The "no blow" stereotype is almost a badge of honor with Jewish girls that I've known...

- CSI Miami. I know everyone knows it sucks, but it's one of the highest rated shows on TV.

- Dancing with the Stars. C-list celebrities ballroom dancing? Come on...

- The Aviator. The performances were really, really good. However, I fall asleep every time I try to watch it.

- Why weed is illegal. I don't smoke it and wouldn't be running out to buy it if it was legal, but the worst things potheads seem to do are overeat and never be on time. Even THAT is more than a bit of a stereotype.

- Nascar. I think it's really stupid and it's not an elitist thing. I just don't see the entertainment value.

- When there is a normal merge coming (not construction, but a normal merge that is always there...2 lanes to 1), I don't get the A-hole who flies past the line of cars, screeches to a halt at the merge point, and flips his blinker.

- Figi water. They were pushing it selling water to begin with. Now you seriously want me to pay more for a square bottle? Really?

- Different car companies "branding" the same exact car.
Did we really need a GMC Suburban AND a Chevy Suburban? Did the market demand both a Tahoe and Yukon? What kind of balls did they have with the 2 door Ford Explorer and the 2 door Mazda Navajo? How about Explorer and Mountaineer?

1. Reality TV. Any of it.

2. Nascar. I can't fathom how this has become popular.

3. Apparently, Phish.

"- CSI Miami. I know everyone knows it sucks, but it's one of the highest rated shows on TV."

The chicks on that show are SLAMMIN'. I put it on on Monday nights after Heroes just for the eye candy.


Love me some Emily Proctor.

Watching network TV for eye candy just seems like spanking to the lingerie section of a Sears catalog to me.

Great. Now I have a mental image of FD spanking to the Sears catalogue. If not him shooting Mr. Burns.

I'll disagree with you on 2 points, though - CSI: Miami is bearable if you take it as tongue-in-cheek. I mean, you gotta laugh at DC's manic "glasses on, glasses off" style.

DWTS isn't bad, so long as you're looking at two things -
- Outfits (which I don't really look at), and
- Mistakes, which can be funny, especially if you're waiting for Master P to screw up.

Not to say I watch the stuff every night (my wife does), but it can be a little entertaining with different add-ons.

Here's one thing I don't get - Donald Trump's popularity.

You gotta define "watch" in my case, F-D. For most shows it means, "That's what channel the TV is one, while I lay on the couch with a laptop on my lap". I guite often have a hard time following the actualy storyline and precise plot developments.

1. South Park

I don't really watch it, and it ranks behing old Simpsons episodes and King og the Hill which I find hilarious. But I love when they totally rip things, like Family Guy. Also, the Wheel of Fortune episode was both hilarious and cringe worthy at the same time.

NASCAR

What else are you going to watch on Sundays between football and the Phillies? Some Tigerless golf tourney? I love NASCAR, LOVE it. To touch on another point it helps if you have a fantasy team. Just laughing with your friends at all the idiosyncracies that come with NASCAR is worth it.

Camping

Totally with you here. I am a bit of a primadonna though. I'm a city guy through and through. When I went on vaction last week I requested a King sized bed in a smoking room and they told me all they had was two queens. I toughed it out, that is my survival story.

Why when you are on a major road do cars slow down when the number of lanes increase?

Don't drive

Fantasy anything…

Love Fantasy NASCAR and my team The Good, The Bad, and Labonte. Fantasy football is ok but baseball is to high maintainance.

Oral sex

I hate when they don't tug on your ear to let you know they are gonna blow and leave you in the bathroom gargling with Listerine for 10 minutes.

UGH

- Don Pollack. Really any insipid, cutesy "news" item at the end of a broadcast.

- Chinese food condiments. I ordered 2 eggrolls, do I really need 35 mustards?

- Mickey Mouse. Does anyone think the Disney cartoons are funnier than the Warner Bros stuff? So why is this rodent everywhere?

- American Idol. It's fucking Kareoke, people!!

- putting the change on top of the bills and receipt.

- Julia Roberts. Sorry, she is not attractive. Nor can she act.

- Weird Al Yankovich. Anyone know someone who buys his records? Me neither.

- Soccer. I've tried. Lord knows, I've tried to see the excitement in this game, but for the life of me I can't. NOTHING HAPPENS.

- Evangelical Religion. The theory that I'm going to convert someone from their core beliefs to my core beliefs, when there is no chance I would embrace theirs seems a bit narcissistic to me.

- Howard Stern. Really all the "Shock Jocks". What's funny about the same potty jokes every morning for 4 hours?

- Beany Babies, POGs, Pokemon etc.

Fantasy baseball is AWESOME. Makes the long, summer nights when TV is all brutal repeats go by nicely. Plus, it allows you to look at the league as a whole and not be a brutal, Phillies-only homer. Ahem, present company excluded, of course...

Mickey Mouse. Does anyone think the Disney cartoons are funnier than the Warner Bros stuff? So why is this rodent everywhere?

Disney is unreal. You wouldn't think that they could make a brand like Mickey Mouse even more popular, but they did it.

About 2 years ago they came out with cartoon episodes of the mickey mouse clubhouse. They stole the shows formula from dora the explorer which stole it's format from Blue's Clues. The show is video crack. My 2, 4, and 8 year old all love it.

- Weird Al Yankovich. Anyone know someone who buys his records? Me neither.

Felt the same way about Everybody Loves Raymond.

Glenn I'm really insulted.

"- Chinese food condiments. I ordered 2 eggrolls, do I really need 35 mustards?"


No, but NEAG needs it to give out the "Non-Native" Trick or Treaters in his neighborhood that are more accustomed to the sound of Gunshots ringing out than people opening their doors and giving out something free.

- Lenny's relationship with Carl on the Simpsons.

- Lying for no good reason. I do it myself. I'll be talking with someone and they'll ask me if I've been to the new restaurant in Borlänge. I hadn't, but for no good reason, I'll say I have. Why?

- Pens. I have about 100 in a drawer and only ½ of them work, but I can't manage to throw them out.

- Batteries. see above.

Pokemon

The show is unwatchable..

I have read the directions to the card game and had my son try to explain to me how to play. I can't get it and he gets so frustrated with me. I need to go to Pokemon short bus school...

I need to go to Pokemon short bus school...

NTFF

Speaking of CSI Miami...

I don't get David Caruso's popularity. Who decided he was a "leading man." My wife and I will watch only the first 10 minutes of that show to hear Caruso's cheesy one-liner leading into the show intro, then it's on to local news.

I also don't get NASCAR and don't want to.

I don't get WWE wrestling.

I don't get why people smoke with everything we know about it. Ignorance is no longer an excuse.

I don't get parents who take pre-teens to R-rated movies

I don't get why baseball managers have to wear a uniform too. Most look sad and pathetic.

I don't get Dane Cook

I don't get those gauges people put in their ears. If some tribe decided it was essential to split your ball bag in two - would you do that too?

I don't get fat chicks who try to dress like their waif counter parts.

I don't get Pokemon, either, but it's made about eleventy-seventy jillion dollars for Nintendo. And that's not including the video games.

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